Monday, November 27

Saying Goodbye

My dad, September 2006

The words are hard to come by.

If you have lost a parent, you will understand. There is a feeling of hopelessness that enters your heart as soon as they die. It's almost like a panic. You cannot remember a time of not having them, so a life without them is unfathomable.

Yet it happens. I suddenly feel very vulnerable. Very insecure. I get those sobs that sneak up your throat and just come out before you can stop them. It's like a moan or a wail. It hurts.

It happens.

And it happened to me early Sunday morning, somewhere around 2am. The picture in this post was taken by my little sister about 2 months ago. He was 2 months into the fight and still hopeful.

We all were.

I will miss my dad and my heart aches with the knowledge that he is gone because I just don't know how I can possibly say goodbye.