Monday, November 27

Saying Goodbye

My dad, September 2006


The words are hard to come by.

If you have lost a parent, you will understand. There is a feeling of hopelessness that enters your heart as soon as they die. It's almost like a panic. You cannot remember a time of not having them, so a life without them is unfathomable.

Yet it happens. I suddenly feel very vulnerable. Very insecure. I get those sobs that sneak up your throat and just come out before you can stop them. It's like a moan or a wail. It hurts.

It happens.

And it happened to me early Sunday morning, somewhere around 2am. The picture in this post was taken by my little sister about 2 months ago. He was 2 months into the fight and still hopeful.

We all were.

I will miss my dad and my heart aches with the knowledge that he is gone because I just don't know how I can possibly say goodbye.

10 comments:

Jenny said...

Dearest Kathryn,

My heart is breaking for you. You are not alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

((hug))Jenny (Jennynenny)

Kim Ellis said...

Kathryn,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my prayers and I pray that you find some comfort during this difficult time.

Kim (redcurlz67)

Lili said...

I'm so sorry.

George said...

I too am so sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

And unfortunately I understand.

NANC said...

I LOve you and Glad you are my sister!! See you Thursday! Be safe!!!

Nanc

Kerri. said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

justme said...

sorry to hear of your loss. my thoughts are with you during this time.

Rachel said...

many thoughts to you and your family during this time.

SaintMartha said...

Oh honey....I am so sorry this has happened. I lost my darling mother to cancer five years ago and I know the pain you are feeling. It's just awful....gosh I just wish there was some magic little thing I could say to make you feel better but there just isn't...except of course that time does heal...it always hurts but as time goes on the pain isn't as sharp.

God bless you my dear.

Martha

Meghan said...

Kathryn,

Meghan Coffee here. Well, you would remember me as Meghan Quinn.

Hope and I hung out tonight and were catching up on life and our respective places in it and you came up in conversation. Hope didn't realise that you and I knew each other when I was a younger girl and, I suppose, you were a younger girl as well. I told her how much you blessed me after my mom died. I don't know that I've ever told you that. But you did. Gave a scared, nerdy thirteen year old some peace and courage during that time.

She told me of this blog and so I came looking for you and came across this post.

I know what it's like, in my own way, to lose someone so suddenly. Words cannot express the sorrow I am feeling for you now.

I hope you are experiencing all things bright and beautiful these days. I'd love to catch up with you sometime. You can find me at:

meghan@meghancoffee.com

Much love, in buckets, your way.

Meghan