Wednesday, August 17

Livestrong

So, I have returned to Norway after traispsing through the vastness of the good ol USA for 3 weeks! I went places I have never been and suddenly found myself wanting to impress my Norwegian husband and our 2 Norwegian friends with my country. Let me assure you, there is nothing that will bring out every bit of latent patriotism in you like traveling through your country with a bunch of people who are not from there. As we drove through the Grand Canyon, I thought to myself, 'This is MY country.' As we drove along California's highway 1, I thought, again, 'this is MY country'. I was so proud! America is beautiful. Filled with beautiful and generous people. It was so good to reconnect with that!

So, I mentioned that I have been a bit of diabetic daredevil. This is my term for my reckless culinary behavior while on vacation. For some reason, this whole 'diabetes thing' just won't sink in. I am lazy. I am lazy. I am lazy. I know that going to the gym will lower my bloodsugar. Have I gone? NO! I don't want to take insulin, but HAVE I GONE TO THE GYM?? no.
So, while we were in San Franscisco, I went into the Border's bookstore in Union Square. Now, a little background information on this excursion. When I moved to Europe, I was amazed the first summer because in July, all regular scheduled programming is pre-empted for 5 hours of daily coverage of...yes...Le Tour de France! Or as we say in the states, The Tour of France. So, I have never really known ANYTHING about cycling, but I got hooked, and it was even better that an American named Lance Armstrong was winning. It was very exciting and I became a huge fan. I read about him and was truly impressed with his recovery from cancer. So, we went into Border's and I saw his book, 'It's Not About the Bike' on the shelf. I bought it. I read it. I was inspired by it. I mean, if Lance can beat testicular, lung and brain cancer, SURELY, I can manage my Diabetes!
Now, I am going to admit something. I have always disliked those yellow bands that everyone in the world seems to be wearing on their wrists. Yes, the one that say LIVESTRONG on them. And I have not been too big of a fan of the countless reproductions that followed in every color from the rainbow.

BUT....
I had a conversation with my two selfs. The lazy self and the self who wants to be healthy.
'OK lazy self, I will make a deal with you. You are going to march into that Nike store and you are going to buy one of those yellow Lance bracelets.!'
'NO!!!, I don't like those. I don't want to look like I am trying to be trendy!'
'Too Bad! You should have thought about that before you refused to tackle diabetes! You are going to get one of those bracelets and you are going to wear it, and everyday, you will look at it, and you will be reminded that you can BEAT this! That you can get yourself to the gym for natural insulin and that you don't have to be sick! To remind yourself that you can LIVESTRONG and not sick! And you cannot take it off until you reach your goals!'
'I don't wanna wear it!!!'
'Tough luck kiddo! Shut up and buy it!'

So, healthy self won out over lazy self and I bought one. Three of them actually. But lazy self refused to put one on until she returned home to Oslo. So, I finally put one on. It's like a binding agreement. I look down and I see these words 'LIVESTRONG'...powerful words those. Live strong. And I tell you. I am going to try.
I don't want to die from this. I don't want to be sick from this. I don't want my eyes to go bad from this. I don't WANT this. But since I do have it, I am going to do everything in my power to make my body a VERY uncomfortable place for Diabetes to live.

Wow. It sounds so good. So, here's to living strong.

I'll let you know how it goes.

2 comments:

SaintMartha said...

Hooray for you and welcome back! I live in Arizona and we often visit the Grand Canyon, there is nothing like surveying the vast landscape and realising the greatness of this big old world....plus it makes you feel very small!

I have finally come to peace with diabetes. I have wrestled the fear, the anxiety, the denial and the resentment to the ground. I don't like having it, and I wish it would go far, far away. In the meantime I have made the decision to learn to live with it, and do my best to control it.

I will be going back to the doctor in the next few weeks to have another a1c test done. I am nervous but I know I have done everything I can possibly do to lower my overall numbers. I incorporate exercise into my life now and it comes pretty naturally. I wear a pedometer daily and track how many steps I take each day. I aim for ten thousand, the farthest so far is 7900 but I am getting there...slowy but surely.

I have learned that it's okay to have roast beef minus a big old tater and choose a salad instead. I eat at Taco Bell and order a taco salad and leave the shell behind. I drink diet pepsi instead of regular. All little things really once you start doing them consistently.

For me one of the biggest hurdles has been the fear, the what if's that plague me at odd moments in the day. When a commercial comes on television talking about diabetes my brain freezes up in fear---or when I read something scary on the internet. But every day I wade through my emotions and have learnd to talk to myself as though I were my best friend, mentally reminding myself that this is one of those diseases that can be controlled---and in my honest opinon cured...and yes I know that is a very controversial topic.

I am on your side--I think we can both do this and live long and happy lives. We really can do it--one step forward is one step close to a long and healthy life.

Martha

SaintMartha said...

P.S.

I just took one of those home a1c tests that measure a three month average---I am a 6. On diagnosis I was 9.8. I know I should be thrilled but I feel really disappointed. I was so hoping to be in the five range.

Ugh